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A modest proposal to improve pilot productivity

In this competitive aviation environment we need  to ensure maximum productivity from all employees. As everyone* knows pilots generally have bugger all to do once they are up in the air. Instead of twiddling their thumbs and counting clouds why not get cruising pilots to answer the phones? With modern communications it is possible to answer a telephone call almost anywhere on this planet, including up in the skies (at least for those of us who can afford to use the credit card phones next to the seats). If some inflight emergency crops up they can always put the caller on hold while they "talk to a supervisor", even though there is nobody higher up than the pilot (or if the call drops out it can honestly be attributed to a systems crash).

I fully expect Michael O'Leary and Alan Joyce to contact me at any minute.

Mr Allrite MBA+

* Who is not a pilot
+ Master Baiting Authority

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